I’m asking myself what I have been doing since January 28th, the last time I posted. Time can be such a mysterious concept. It comes and it goes, sometimes it’s fast and sometimes it’s slow, then there are times when it doesn’t even seem to exist at all. My 2012 began with a 30 Day Hot Yoga Challenge at Sacred Brooklyn. I actually did 31 days and 30 days after that found myself at the chiropractor exploring the pain in my right hip/lower back. Yep, I had an injury. I rolled my eyes in my head wondering if I now had to write a follow up to my yoga advocacy piece, but it was an old injury that went undiagnosed. All yoga teachers and studios are not made equal and we must also be mindful of our own limitations even when we have flexible bodies. The irony of it is that it also provided me with a great lesson: balance. Dr. Gardiner suggested a 6 to 8 week yoga break. I was stumped. What was I going to do with my yoga in the hot room?
Well, I read–a lot. I also did a lot of meditation as I found that dance classes did not “replace” my yoga. Walking helped but it was still cold outside. I must admit that I didn’t exercise enough and out of rebellion often did nothing. It was tough. I entered into a battle with my ego which had been such a great friend of mine during the 30 Day Challenge. Stillness can be just as big a lesson as being in action and showing up. As a matter of fact, yoga masters often say that Sevasana or Dead Body Pose can be one of the most challenging, especially for beginners because it demands complete stillness-no itching or scratching, no fixing of clothes, no wiping of sweat.
The irony is that this was also my busiest work period and I had to travel weekly, sometimes two or three times a week. Every airport and hotel started to look alike. The days of the week were indistinguishable and I noticed how many cities are just like other cities. It took awhile to catch up with myself after six weeks of that kind of movement. A friend joked that switching through time zones can hit us hard because our souls may not move at the same pace. Your body may be in New York, but your soul is still in L.A. and just might join you by morning (or not). Our laughter faded as we seriously contemplated this idea.
I’m finally back to my practice and have gone to class twice this week. I won’t be overdoing it, but intend to be consistent. I appreciate it even more now. I think about my movements and whether or not I am over-stretching–something I’ve been known to do in other aspects of my life. I am much more present to the muscles being used, the tension being released, the joints cracking, the ways in which my body is opening up. Exploring the dimensions of my spirit are much more possible now while I am practicing. I don’t agree with the adage ‘everything happens for a reason’. Some stuff just makes no sense at all and is beyond reason, but I do get the ‘reason’ behind the events of my 2012.
Completing the 30 Day Challenge created momentum and openings for me. It put me in a space to make requests, be in action on leads and receive support from friends and colleagues. Not being able to practice taught me a different kind of discipline, reminded me to be humble and to pace myself. As I sit here on a sunny Saturday morning sipping my very Green smoothie, I am grateful for being present. Although I’ve been absent from my blog (probably tweeting when I could’ve been blogging), I trust that now is the perfect time to return to the page. There is a peaceful sense of urgency within me but I am not rushing. Many spiritual teachers say balance is not a state but something we seek. My eyes and heart are open to it—especially now.
Namaste. Hallelujah. Hotep. And so it is.