Listening to the Silence of the Storm
With the wind blowing, snow falling and the windows sweating as if they were in a Bikram yoga class, I wanted nothing more than to see the moon above. If my timbs weren’t in the back of a cluttered closet I probably would’ve stepped outside. Instead, I sat with my dinner and pressed play on the last episode of Scandal. An hour later I was back to my reality so I washed dishes and crawled underneath the sheets. I contemplated watching another episode, but turned off my computer and picked up a book. Sleep came sooner than expected. I surrendered and ventured off to la-la land.
Adrea, my dear friend and big sister, was in my dreams. Unlike when she was alive she seemed very happy. I don’t remember many dreams, but every once in a while details will stay in my head. I haven’t figured out the symbolism of this dream. Music was playing, she was dancing and seemed to be reminding me to have fun. Ironically, during the last years of her life, she was addicted to suffering and had an aversion to joy. Maybe that was the message of my dream? Let go of suffering, embrace joy.
It is the morning of snow storm Nemo. The ground, the rooftops, and the cars are all covered with the glorious white stuff. It is also Day 6 of my cleanse. However, it has been less of a cleanse and more of highly disciplined meal plan where I am mostly consuming living foods, juices and smoothies. This is the lifestyle change I want to make.
Both storms and cleanses bring me clarity. I woke a little after 7am realizing I had slept through the night. Exhaling, I lit a white candle, burned Sudanese coconut oil and boiled water for my morning regimen. Sitting here in the quiet, sipping my first concoction of the day, I am allowing thoughts and insights to come. I am thinking of the people in my life right now and how different my life is from a year ago. Everyone close to me is value-added, amazing, loving and kind. I even get the sense that the one’s I am not in touch with are somewhere growing, healing and becoming better people. I made a forgiveness list a couple of weeks ago and it was so incredibly short that I had to double-check it a few times. My emotional baggage is lighter and so am I.
There are over 400,000 people without power in Massachusetts this morning and 10,000 right here in Long Island, NY. I am grateful for the warmth my home is providing while praying that the folks are safe. Storms can bring us the silence we need to hear. I hear the messages from my dream and I can hear my own thoughts this morning. The stillness is reminding me of my priorities and of what I need to be grateful for. While the snow accumulates, I am becoming clearer about what I need to release. The melting of this snow will be symbolic for me, as the ice melts into the earth I will let go. I am letting go of bad habits, I am letting go of worries and fears, I am letting go foods that don’t serve my health, I am letting go of insecurities and I am stepping into love—loving myself more deeply, loving others more passionately, walking love, breathing love, being love. I am inhaling joy. Thank you Adrea…for the reminder.