I had a Health Scare

Fear Black WomanI had a health scare Friday afternoon. After contemplating an ER visit, I realized I had to pull out of a performance event (something I never do). It was scary. It was also very humbling. The human body is a complex organism comprised of thousands of individual systems. These systems work in concert and in complementary ways to make our bodies work. I couldn’t understand why it was happening Friday when I had set a plan with June 1st as the start date for my new healing protocol.

Although I’ve had a myriad of health issues during my life, I’ve never had an overnight stay in a hospital. I am not naive and understand that as the body ages there may be times when it is necessary. I’ve had outpatient surgery but never had any major surgery. As I reflect on this Sunday morning I am grateful for the blessings.

I grew up in a small working class town eating soul food from Louisiana and Mexico, as well as, China, the Philippines and Italian foods. Of course, American fast foods were also on the plate and lots of it. I ate loads of fried foods and sugar and I can’t remember eating many vegetables for the first 26 years of my life. I do remember taking lots of medications from the age of six. Pills, inhalers and weekly shots were a regular part of my schedule. Back then no one was aware of just how damaging prescription drugs could be. Last night as I lay still I had a rare moment with my remote and the TV. There was one show that had so many pharmaceutical commercials promoting drugs that I laughed and shook my head at the end of each advertisement as the announcer went through the potential side-effects. I laughed to keep from crying, to process my anger with the way our medical system is set up. A doctor will often prescribe drugs before suggesting nutritional medicine, energy healing or simple solutions like exercise and juice fasting to alkalinize the body.

This past week was an incredible experience that included travel, memorable teaching moments and connections with powerful people. I interacted with a number of successful people whose accomplishments I admire and received so much confirmation about my path. I am in the divine right space and doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I also had people I don’t know approach me to share inspirational messages, wisdom and give me pep talks about my purpose. Trust, I listened intently because there were consistent themes and there was something here I needed to hear and receive. As I sat on my bedroom floor in pain, afraid and knowing that I’ll soon have to make decisions about surgery, I drew from the gifts each of those people gave me. The week was intense because so many people contributed to me by injecting me with love, support and useful insights that I can apply to my journey. You never know when what you share will make a difference in someone’s life. Each of those people made a difference for me.

This weekend has been about recovery & acceptance. My kitchen is my healing center, my bed my vacation retreat and my mind and heart have become a laboratory for manufacturing belief, faith and confidence in my ability to both strengthen and heal my body. If surgery is a choice I will be healthy enough to endure and recover quickly. I surrender. Acceptance of my weaknesses and shortcomings, my food addictions and the time and commitment it is going to take is also a main priority. There is a need for rituals and routines. It’s also critically important for me to enroll a few loved ones in helping me to be accountable.

Everything I’ve ever worked on the past 20 years is happening right now. It’s all unfolding. It’s an exciting space to be to watch your destiny unfold right before your eyes. It’s like watching the movie that you are starring in. So I’m digging deep. This is bigger than living a dream. It’s about making an impact, leaving a legacy and changing lives. It’s bigger than self-
care. It’s about health care and being committed to not only changing my food lifestyle but the way I think, respond to crisis, deal with negativity, release the emotional baggage I’m carrying and belief, believing life can be good and my body can be as well.

On this Sunday morning, I not only ask that you say a prayer for me, but say one for yourself and for each of us. That scene from the movie Car Wash is in my head. The one where Richard Pryor is dressed like a pimp-preacher surrounded by the Pointer Sisters singing “You’ve Gotta Believe Somethin!” I’m taking the chains off my brain. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I’ll be juicing up a storm but belief, working on belief will be just as important.

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One response to “I had a Health Scare

  1. Toni, how on point your are for the community even in your personal reflection!! I have had medical scares and I know the mental anguish and process to determining when it is time to make actuals steps toward the E.R. and the continued steps to be made thereafter toward wholeness. My prayer for the sisterhood is: May the supernatural help of the Spirit guide us to all truths regarding our health, my the choices we make from medication to holistic alternatives be divine, timely and affective. May we come to a place of wholeness swiftly and may the journey to our wholeness be sweet. Know that you are not alone in your quest but others are calling out your name boldly before the throne, trusting that the healing He has for you is continually released and manifesting itself in your spirit, soul and body even now. May success in all your endeavors continue to be your reward. Carry on! Coy Brantley Curry

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